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How Anita waited 10 years to kill a friend who stole her boyfriend

It was the American singer and songwriter, Mary Beth Patterson (Beth Ditto), who said: “I’m a great believer in karma, and the vengeance that it serves up to those who are deliberately mean is generally enough for me.”

Also, ditchtheLabel.org in one of its 7 reasons why seeking revenge is a bad idea remarked:

“Gandhi once said, ‘An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.’ Think about the repercussions of your actions – you might end up in trouble … seeking revenge. You might even put yourself in harm’s way. What can really be gained? It is far better to save yourself from the possibility of further trauma.  Focus on the good things in your life and look at how you can move forward, putting the person who hurt you firmly in the past.”

Sadly, Anita Ofili disagrees with all these.  On March 26 she was arrested for allegedly stabbing her friend, Glory Okon, to death in her apartment at Greenville Estate, Ajah area of Lagos. And Anita waited for 10 years to have her pound of flesh.

The killing according to her was because Gloria snatched her boyfriend about 10 years ago.

Neighbours were alarmed when the heart-wrenching cry for help emanated from Anita Ofili’s one-room self-contained apartment at about 1.20 p.m., some Sundays ago.

On forcing the door open, they met a shocker. It was Anita thrusting a kitchen knife into her friend’s neck.

Regrettably, Gloria had lost too much blood; and so she was confirmed dead on arrival at the Lagos Island General Hospital.

A neighbour, who would not want to be mentioned told Vanguard, that “the landlord’s daughter was the one that heard the scream.

“She peeped through the window and saw a masked person stabbing a lady. She rushed and called her father, who alerted other tenants that forced the door open, only to discover that the masked person was Anita Ofili.

“The whole room was filled with blood. We discovered that the victim was still breathing. We had to tie Ofili’s legs and hands to prevent her from escaping. 

“Before the arrival of the Police, Ofili did not show any sign of remorse. She said she would explain to the Police what happened.

“She claimed the lady in question was her friend and that her action was in revenge for what her friend did to her.”

Why I killed her’

Vanguard gathered that the suspect and the deceased had been friends for close to two decades and had attended the same tertiary institution.

They were said to have had a misunderstanding that tore them apart for close to 10 years before they reconciled two weeks ago.

Vanguard further gathered that both of them returned from a party penultimate Sunday.

Explaining why she committed the act, Ofili said: “Glory and I had been good friends for years, but she betrayed that friendship by snatching my boyfriend.

“I had the intention of marrying him. Her action strained the relationship and we went our separate ways for 10 years.

“We only reconciled two weeks ago. I invited her to my house and the rest you know.”

Meanwhile, Vanguard was informed that family members of the suspect distanced themselves from Ofili over her action.

One of them, who visited the State Criminal Intelligence and Investigations Department, SCIID, yesterday, was heard telling others that “I knew Anita was troublesome, but I never knew she could go to this extent.

“I stopped visiting her over 12 years ago because of her character flaws.”

Meanwhile, a team of detectives visited Ofili’s apartment, yesterday.

Police sources said tramadol suspected to have been used to drug the deceased was recovered.

The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, Benjamin Hundeyin, confirmed the arrest of the suspect.

He said: “At 5.50 p.m., on March 26, a resident of Greenville Estate came to the station to report that he heard someone screaming from the room of one Annie Ofili, that himself and other tenants quickly rushed to the room, forced the door opened only to meet Annie on top of Glory Okon, who came to visit her.”

He said Ofili held Glory Okon’s throat and stabbed her on the neck and back with a kitchen knife. That they rushed Okon to the hospital, where she was confirmed dead.

“Upon the information, a team of detectives moved to the scene. The suspect was arrested, the knife recovered, while the corpse was deposited at the Mainland General Hospital mortuary, Yaba, for autopsy and preservation.

“The suspect has been transferred to the SCIID, Yaba, for discreet investigation.”

The Arise TV Interview and likely holes in Agbakoba (SAN)’s suggestions on upshots of Nigeria’s Presidential Election

By Sylvester Udemezue

I carefully followed the 05 April 2023 AriseTV interview featuring very respected Olisa Agbakoba SAN, an ex President of the NBA, and I listened to the arguments he put out. [the interview is on YouTube under the title, “Let Us Resolve the President Election Petition Before the Inauguration — Olisa Agbakoba SAN” https://youtu.be/bUDJ9ehvtbc]. I agree with Mr. Agbakoba SAN, that Nigeria is long overdue for a new judicial philosophy towards a faster justice dispensation. The undue delay that characterizes Nigeria’s justice delivery system has made a Nigeria a laughing stock in the comity of nations. Meanwhile, please permit me to offer my humble opinion on the other issues raised, and arguments advanced, by the great learned silk, as follows:

1️⃣. Mr Agbakoba says a presidential candidate must win up to 25% votes in the FCT Abuja. I respectfully think it may be difficult to sustain this position judging by the plain words used in section 134(2)(b) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999. While I’ve made known my view on this issue [See: “A Candidate With The Highest Number Of Votes Cast In A Presidential Election, Does Not Need Up To 25 Percent Of Abuja Votes As A Mandatory Condition Precedent To Being Declared The Winner” by Sylvester Udemezue; 28 February 2023; TheNigeriaLawyer], I think it has become necessary to bring up Part 2 of the discussion, from my perspective and further findings. This proposes to be published before 16 April 2023 under the title, “Is 25% Votes In The FCT An Indispensable Condition Precedent To Presidential Election Victory In Nigeria?”

2️⃣Mr Agbakoba SAN says that BVAS is nothing more than a machine for “voter accreditation.” I respectfully disagree. BVAS ordinarily has two uses, and is assigned two mandatory roles under the Electoral Act, 2022: (a) used for voter accreditation and verification of PVC, and (b) used to scan/snap the Form EC8A and to transmit/send/transfer to the IReV, the snapshot of the Form EC8A as endorsed by the polling Unit Officer, the Polling Agents and the Police. That the BVAS has a dual use has even been confirmed by the Court of Appeal of Nigeria in its 24 March 2023 judgement in the case of NURUDEEN v. OYETOLA (unreported Appeal No: CA/AK/EPT/GOV/01/2023), see page 35 where the Court said: “BVAS is a device used to to register voters. It accredits voters before voting on election day and is used for transmitting results to INEC viewing portal after voting. Thus it helps to scan the barcode or QR on the PVC or voters register before voting. Note that BVAS does not require internet connectivity during voting but it requires internet when transmitting results to the INEC portal”.

3️⃣.Mr Agbakoba SAN says that the Court of Appeal has in NURUDEEN V. OYETOLA confirmed that the BVAS is not a game-changer. With due respect, this is not a correct interpretation of what the Court said in that case. I think the Court of Appeal said that the version of the results from the back-end (IReV) as transmitted by the BVAS was UNRELIABLE because the results were not transmitted IMMEDIATELY, on the election day. Thus, I believe the reason the CA said it couldn’t rely on BVAS 100 percent, as against the manually-collated results, in the Osun Governorship election, is because the e-transmission by the BVAS was not done on the election day as required by the Electoral Act. This means that if the results had been transmitted DIRECT from the polling units, at the conclusion of voting on the election day, the Court wouldn’t have had any choice than to accept the same as 100 percent reliable. Put differently, what I think the Court of Appeal said is that only election results e-transmitted direct from the polling unit on election day is 100 percent reliable and where the results are transmitted direct from the polling unit on the election day, any conflict between the election results e-transmitted, and the manual results must be resolved in favour of the e-transmitted version. This is the implication of what the court of appeal said in NURUDEEN V OYETOLA. Prior to the Court of Appeal decision, I had done this, which perhaps contains my opinion on the mandatory post-ballot procedures under the Electoral Act, 2022. [See: Sylvester Udemezue, “Legal Safeguards for Credible Management of Post-Ballot Processes In Nigerian Elections Under the Electoral Act 2022” (March 20, 2023). Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=4393989 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.4393989>]

4️⃣. Mr Agbakoba SAN says that there are no consequences for failure to use the BVAS or failure to e-transmit election results as required by the Electoral Act. I beg to disagree. In my opinion, failure to use BVAS is a violation of the Electoral Act 2022. And under section 136(1)(b)(ii)& 134(2) of the Electoral Act, 2022, “non-compliance with the Provisions of” the Electoral Act could be an independent/sole ground for challenging an election and where the level of non-compliance is shown to be substantial, it’s a ground for nullifying the entire election and ordering a fresh election. See sections 136(1), 135 and 137 of the Electoral Act, 2022. So it’s incorrect, I submit, to suggest, as has been done by Mr Agbakoba SAN, that the only punishment for failure to use BVAS is imposition of a fine of N500,000. [See: ” NIGERIA’S PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 2023 AND LEGAL CONSEQUENCES OF AN UGLY SUBVERSION OF BEAUTIFUL LAWS [Part 2]” By Sylvester Udemezue; 12 March 2023; NewsDeskNg].

5️⃣. Mr Agbakoba says that INEC has a discretion to decide whether to use manual collation or e-transmission. With due respect, that’s not the correct position because INEC has no power to change the rule in the middle of the game. While section 60(5) of the Act gives INEC the discretion to determine mode or manner of election results collation, it’s public knowledge that INEC had in 2022, and pursuant to the Act, enacted a subsidiary law (the Regulations and Guidelines for Conduct of Elections 2022) Clauses 38 and 48(a) of which make it mandatory that at the completion of voting, the polling unit officer must scan/snap and e-transmit to the IReV, a duly completed and endorsed copy of Form EC8A. In law, the only way INEC can validly change this stipulation is to amend the Regulations and Guidelines for Conduct of Elections 2022, which until now, INEC hasn’t amended. INEC is thus bound by the Regulations and Guidelines and has no power or discretion to deviate from its provisions on election day. ◼Aside from this, a look at section 64(4)-(8) of the Act reveals that presence of results e-transmitted direct from the polling unit is a necessary part of the process of collation and verification of results [s.64(4)&(5)] and of resolution of disputed election results s. 64(6)-(8)] under the Act. Thus, in addition to manual collation, it appears that INEC has no choice on e-transmission. In the case of NURUDEEN v. OYETOLA (unreported Appeal No: CA/AK/EPT/GOV/01/2023) , the Court of Appeal took time to explains (🅰) the mandatory collation procedure under the Act and (🅱) the material time for e-transmission of the election results under the Act. I reproduce the tribunal’s own words (Per Shuaibu, JCA in the lead judgment delivered on 24 March 2023, on pages 35-36 of the judgement, on uses of the BVAS and the material time for e-transmission of election results under the Electoral Act 2022):
“BVAS is a device used to to register voters. It accredits voters before voting on election day and is used for transmitting results to INEC viewing portal after voting. Thus it helps to scan the barcode or QR on the PVC or voters register before voting. Note that BVAS does not require internet connectivity during voting but it requires internet when transmitting results to the INEC portal. In the light of the foregoing, it is correct to say that there are dual mode of transmission of results under the extant Electoral Act, 2022. After close of poll at level of various units where the presiding officer would enter the scores of various political parties in Form EC8A (Polling Unit Result) in which he sign that particular result and counter signed by party agents, the result will then be scanned and uploaded to the INEC result viewing portal for public viewing. It’s also at that point the accreditation data that has arisen from that polling unit will also be uploaded, but the physical result, the BVAS result will also be taken to the Registration Area Collation Centre. At the Collation Centre, the Collation Officer will at this point have the benefit of seeing the original result and BVAS report *and the the accreditation data as transmitted and the result sheet sheet from the polling unit”

6️⃣. Mr Agbakoba SAN holds the view that the Presidential Election Tribunal could determine the lawsuits before it within a few days. I respectfully think that while such is greatly desirable, it could be impracticable in the present scenario, under the extant law. Anyone who has read through the Electoral Act 2022, and the petitions presented by each of Peter Obi and Atiku Abubakar, would agree that the legal issues raised in each and the facts pleaded in each, would take much more than one month to determine. Apart from the issues relating to (1) Tinubu’s drug case, (2) interpretation of section 134(2)(b) CFRN 1999, and (3) qualification or non qualification of the APC Vice Presidential Candidate (which if true, automatically nullifies the candidacy of the President-elect), there are also issues raised as to (4) substantial non-compliance with the Electoral Act, the Regulations and Guidelines for Conduct of Elections 2022, and the INEC Manual, plus (5) allegations of result manipulation and other electoral malpractices in addition to (6) each of Peter Obi’s and Atiku’s claim that they won the election. Resolution of most of these issues and claims requires calling of witnesses, tendering of exhibits, research and legal arguments by counsel as well as time for the adjudicators to research, evaluate and decide the case. This could be why the makers of the law have provided for a180-day timeline within which the Tribunal must give its verdict. While I agree with Mr Agbakoba SAN that the Tribunal need not wait till near the end of this 180 days before delivering its verdict, I find it hard to agree that these could be resolved within days. And what about the right of each party to appeal to the Supreme Court? Doesn’t the losing party have within 21 days from the date of Tribunal judgment, to appeal, and would the Supreme Court be expected to resolve all issues within days too? Contrary to Mr Agbakoba SAN ‘s suggestions that the petitions could be resolved up to the Supreme Court before 29 May 2023, I think section 138 of the Electoral Act provides a reasonable guide under the circumstances. If as is provided by section 138, a candidate whose election has been declared VOID by the tribunal, could still stay in office pending resolution of the appeal arising from the tribunal decision, there appears to be no good reasons to support any view that a person whose election is being challenged at the Tribunal on grounds that the election was unlawful or that his declaration was unlawful, should not be sworn in pending resolution of pending lawsuits.

By way of recommendation and conclusion, I respectfully submit that a more reasonable and practicable alternative/way to ensure that swearing does not happen before final resolution of pending election lawsuits, is to (🅰) amend the law to provide that elections should be conducted not later than seven (7) months before 29 May (handover date) , and then (🅱) abridge the time for determining election petitions, say from 180 days (which i suggest is too long) to say 100 days, and the time for appeal: 15 days from the date of Tribunal judgment; and the time for determining the appeal to not more than 30 days. In this way, all election litigation would be wrapped up before the date of swearing in. Check out: ((A) filing: within 21 days from date of Declaration; (B). Reply: with 10 days from date of service; (C). Hearing and judgement: within 100 days from filing date; (D). Time to appeal: Within 15 days from tribunal judgment; (E) Response by the respondent to the appeal: within 5 days of service; (F). time for hearing and judgment by the Supreme Court: within 30 days from date of filing the appeal—- 21+100+15+30= 166 days) . This allows up to almost 44 days before swearing in; the time is reasonable enough, to accommodate shifts in elections where for example section 24 or 47(3) of the Act applies.
Thank you for reading me.
Respectfully submitted,
Sylvester Udemezue (Udems)
08109024556.
[email protected].
(06 April 2023)

The sorrows of a man who married a far younger wife

By Hon Omega, Kpakpando Anam

Ogbuefi Okaa lost his wife of 34 years and was forced to re-marry. He chose a 21 years old Agbomma who was very beautiful and possessed all that could make other men risk being caught sharing her with the husband at any cost.

Ogbuefi Okaa noticed that he alone couldn’t satisfy Agbomma the very first day he tasted what he paid for.

The young girl kept asking for more as if Ogbuefi Okaa was being powered by a 200amp inverter battery. He could only do what a 63 years (Nkiliko Age Grade) old man could do and put back his sword, which has turned into a sagged rope, inside his sheath.

As the smart man that he was, Ogbuefi Okaa quickly harvested four children from Agbomma in quick succession leaving no long gaps in between pregnancies. He reasoned that he needed to be fast before other men sowed wild oats or illegitimate children in his family.

As months rolled into years, Ogbuefi Okaa had noticed that Agbomma, his wife no longer complained about his low penile performance or his reduced ability to push or thrust harder.

Agbomma formed indifference after each lacklustre performance by her husband, whose mind or intention to satisfy his wife was not in doubt but the ability to stand erect, fill the hole and create a feelable friction was not reliable.

Ogbuefi Okaa was so sure that a younger man was helping him tend his farm. His wife’s new feeling of contentment was ominous. He was however relieved as he was not being asked to climb the Ugwu NDI Uka

What a big load off him!

But who was this man that had been helping him without his permission?

Ogbuefi Okaa suspected his elder brother’s first son, Anekwe. He had noticed a resurgent closeness between his wife and Anekwe.

How could one ban one’s younger nephew from visiting his house even at old hours? Not Anekwe who has been very respectful and responsible.

It’s not done!

After all, isi mkpi ka dịkwa n’akpa mkpi meaning “that the wife didn’t go too far”.

With his increasing age and decreasing ability to satisfy Agbomma in bed, Ogbuefi Okaa advised himself and came out with a heart-preserving elixir.

Ogbuefi Okaa wouldn’t bother to probe who is helping keep his wife happy. Of what purpose would such enquiry or confirmation serve?

It was better left in the realm of suspension.

He would not use his eyes to see iniquity.

Everything, for him, was not sex.

As a matter of policy, Ogbuefi Okaa would make a loud noise produced by clearing one’s throat upon approaching his compound. It was so characteristic and unmistakably his.

He didn’t stop at that.

Ogbuefi Okaa would also jam so hard the entrance gate (Uvo) of his compound. This, he believed was enough alarm for his wife and any of her male guests to adjust their positions before he entered his house.

And Ogbuefi Okaa lived longer than 94 years before he joined his ancestors.

The secret of long life.
I remain Hon Omega Kpakpando Anam. Don’t kill yourself for nothing. Worry less and live longer.

Encounter with a prophet

By Lasisi Olagunju

Like Nigeria’s multiple-award-winning poet, Professor Niyi Osundare, I am also “farmer-born, peasant-bred.” Like him, I “encountered dawn in the enchanted corridors of the forest.” A powerful pastor once came to our village with drums and flutes. It was supposed to be a one-off visit but that first arrival was a harvest of blessings for his ministry and so he made his coming a daily affair. Every day, Pastor came in the evening when men were back from the farm and women had finished their buying and selling. Pastor grew popular; he was revered, feared, and worshipped by almost everybody – and we were a community of majority Muslims. Some called him Pastor but for many, he was simply Wòlíì (prophet). He had with him girls who sang the songs he dictated. There were evening revivals at which Pastor offered buckets of stream water spiced with anointing oil as a solution to every affliction of the body and soul.

One afternoon, Pastor came with a short cutlass. He looked around and declared every orange tree in the community possessed by evil spirits. If anyone ate from the fruits, Pastor said they would die. There was no house in our community without at least an orange tree beside it. “They must all fall,” Pastor decreed and the whole village rose to applaud him. It was the time of the year when the orange trees were heavily weighed down by hundreds of fruits waiting to ripen. But Pastor ignored the promise of the fruits as he led a song-and-dance execution procession. He touched the first tree with his short cutlass, longer cutlasses surfaced from his squad and, in three minutes, the tree was down with its unripe fruits. I stopped the basket I was weaving. Pastor did two more, then moved towards my father’s own orange tree. My heart beat out of rhythm, skipped a beat. I looked around me; I was alone. My father and my mother and siblings were all not at home. So, they would all come back and meet the orange tree fallen with all its unripe fruits dead and destroyed? What would I tell them I did when the ‘killer’ came with his cutlass?

Pastor did not need anyone’s go-ahead and asked for no one’s permission. He was the law, every head bowed before his spirit and spirituality. He got to our orange tree and lifted his short cutlass; then a voice rang out behind him: “If you touch that orange tree, you will be in trouble.” Pastor froze, his lifted hand lay still up there with the short cutlass. He looked round in search of the owner of that impudent voice. All song and dance stopped; all eyes turned and converged on me. Pastor followed the people’s eyes and spotted me – a teenager. It was my voice that rang that daring bell of rebellion. The words were heavier than my mouth, and bigger than my fragile frame. I was small; I had just left Modern School. Pastor’s eyes caught mine and I looked straight into his eyes. Did he see something? I did not know, but Pastor turned and quickly moved away from our house to other houses and other trees.

By dusk that day, our orange tree was the only orange tree that stood in the entire village. But I became a pariah, an outcast. Everyone outside our home avoided me. Hours later that evening in our house, all family members sat, looking at me. They had all heard what I did. My eldest sister came for me with a sororal rebuke. “Why did you do that? You should have let them cut it. (Ò bá ti jé kí won ó gée)”, she said in a voice laden with fears of the consequences of my impudence.

“He did well,” my father cut her short. She was surprised. Father was not a man of many words but on that occasion, his words were even fewer. He looked at me, and nodded. Was he proud of me? He didn’t say so. But I was happy; at least I was no longer alone.

That encouragement of several decades ago has followed my engagements with life. It has been all I need to confront all principalities whose ministry and politics and business thrive in cutting down trees with ripe and unripe fruits. So, what happened to Pastor? He came some more times and did one or two other things which changed his story. Finally, two of the girls in his singing party were found pregnant. It was pious pastor who did that wonder; his goat ate the yam. He was banished by the villagers; but it was too late.

What the villagers got from Pastor is what you get when man is cast as high as God. Men who compete with God endanger the living and abort the unborn. Our politics has bred a pride of such prophets who take down decency and subtlety and make all choices binary. They minimize the credibility of others to fill their own cup. Denigration, vilification and demonisation of the other side cauterize their own fears. The prophets have reared bands of unquestioning worshippers who are now grown, and drunk and becoming a scare and a threat to everyone.

Our political space is clogged by such cultic devotees, charged, sufficiently, to cut down all trunks unfortunate to catch the fancy of their lord’s short cutlasses. In maniacal silence, the bosses point their long knives at trees not in their grove; their captured audience responds with assailing cuts. There are wonderful ladies and gentlemen in the Obidient Movement, in the Atiku clan and in the Èmi l’ókàn emporium. But there are also in the parties really toxic characters, merchants of hate, who have ramped up their hideous trade in recent weeks. You find them among irascible Obidients and among irritable Èmi l’ókàn people. (The Atiku clan has been remarkably quiet). I encounter the good and the bad every week.

One Obidient read only the first two paragraphs of one of my recent columns and flew at me in inexplicable rage. He won’t read any further than those two paragraphs but proceeded to send to me: “I spit on you, all of you Yoruba intellectuals.” What did I write that wasn’t fair to his party and therefore deserving of his scorn? The phlegm spitter could not be helped from his extremist political fanaticism. It worked him up. I prayed for him. I am not alone in that experience; everyone who hasn’t learnt to be silent and quiet in the face of Nigeria’s political misbehaviour is a victim. The political ‘idol’ worshippers in the West are not different from the devotees in the eastern temple. The western fanatics cannot imagine a Yoruba man not worshipping in their Lagos shrine. They wonder what kind of Yoruba person would not join their alleluia chorus. They have made sure that though elections are over, name-calling remains the name of the game. One loud man called an opposition contestant a descendant of slaves. There is an irony here. Records say at least one ancestor of that slave-shaming devotee was also from a family of returnee slaves from ‘Sarro’ (Sierra Leone).

I do not know what story books those who label others as bastards, aliens or descendants of slaves read in primary school, but my generation read the Alawiye series with tales that stay stuck. One of such stories is of the favoured first son of a rich man who insisted that his father must count his many slaves. He wanted to know how many they were to satisfy his curious ego. Why would this boy want this? You don’t tell a slave that he is a slave; it will humiliate him, father told son. Tí a bá ka erú, inú erú a bàjé (If we count slaves, slaves will be sad)”, the old man warned, but the son would not listen; he wanted to know how many slaves his father had and how rich the family was. He said anyone who wanted to be sad could wear the sack of sorrow; who cares?

The big man succumbed finally and summoned all his children and assembled all his slaves. He gave them the background to what he was about to do and how he was reluctant to do it. Then, he moved to his well-dressed first son, placed his left hand on the boy’s right shoulder and told him softly: “You were the very first slave I bought.” Shocked, the ‘son’ who wanted to know all the bond men and women he would inherit from his father looked at his ‘father’s’ face to be sure he heard right. “I warned you but you did not listen.” The boy wept; and wept; and wept – the kind of sorrow you read in grace-to-grass stories. That is why it is not good to count slaves. If all slaves were counted in Lagos on March 18, many who harangued ‘outsiders’ would themselves be out of voting lines.

The desperation of the past one month has cut the cords of peace and amity in our society. There have been huge disappointments from unexpected quarters. And those who wreaked the havoc do not care. What matters is the gold bracelet and the fulfillment of whatever they’ve been promised.

In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, we see politicians and their “vaulting ambition, which o’erleaps itself.” We feel their love for prophets – Macbeth’s three witches – who “can look into the seeds of time/And say which grain will grow and which will not.” Nigeria’s presidential princes have all heard strange voices with promises that lead straight to the throne. There is Macbeth in all of them. They’ve each got Glamis; they’ve got Cawdor; they believe, therefore, that “the greatest is behind.” That is why each claims the throne. But the ‘smartest’ among them in February followed the prophecy, snatched the scepter, and dared the losers to go to court. In this game of thrones, “fair is foul, and foul is fair.” That is the reason Nigeria won’t rest in the day, and thunder and lightning howl their best in wrecking the peace of the night. There is no retreat, there is no surrender and no plot is too grave to plot. Think again of the prophet of my village; he felled orange trees with thousands of unripe fruits just to prove his priesthood. Let no one go to bed this night – power contenders will fell any tree to prove that “the devil speaks true.”

The battle has moved to the courtroom but our politicians are suspected to have camped the courts like convention delegates. Television, radio, newspaper and social media jurists, day and night, teach the courts what the law should be. They have seen the nakedness of judges and no longer see any big deal taking them to bed. And the courts have also fetishized and befriended politics and its benefits to our collective shame. The courts should be worried. I don’t know if they all read what one of the presidential candidates in the February 25 election, Rabiu Kwankwaso, said on Thursday in Abuja about them. He said: “Those asking people to go to court know that the courts are their homes.” Those are his words. Grave and foreboding; people at the receiving end will say insulting. But can we blame or fault him? Ghanaian writer, Ayi Kwei Armah, wrote that when the end is known at the beginning, then there is no more hope. I will be shocked if the courts trust themselves. No one does.

They are to give justice. In this matter of our politics, what will be justice when litigants are being told, softly, by defendants that what happened before may still happen to their efforts because that is the tradition? And the courts are tradition keepers. Lord Denning, Master of the Rolls, addressed something similar. What was his point?: “If we never do anything which has not been done before, we shall never get anywhere. The law will stand still whilst the rest of the world goes on; and that will be bad for both.”

The courts should be worried. “Our laws are being disregarded right and left. And the mobs are out” against the court itself because power flaunts its abduction of justice from those who are paid to give justice. And that is why even after cases have been filed in court, the ghost of Banquo still roams the street in unbidden anger. The implacable ghosts of Duncan and Banquo will not let King Macbeth enjoy his victory banquet. It will take more than a repeat visit to the Weird Sisters to still the storm.

This article was first published in the Nigerian Tribune on Monday, 3 April 2023

Tales My Patients Told Me: “Doctor, my didn’t you tell me when my kidneys failed fifty percent?”

Tuesday, April 4, 2023. A few minutes to 2 p.m., I arrived at my Richmond Hill office for the afternoon session, after a busy morning session in Brooklyn. As I reached for the door handle, a familiar voice called out, “Hey, Doc!” Sitting in a dark SUV in a parking spot across the office was Fred. I was rather surprised to see Fred driving all by himself. I knew that Fred has kidney failure and has been on thrice-weekly hemodialysis for about three years.

“I am here to see you”, Fred hollered out through the car window. “Hi Fred, it’s great to see you. We will talk in a bit.” I answered Fred as I sauntered into the office, clutching my packed lunch in my right hand.

About twenty minutes later, I was sitting across from Fred explaining his results to him. He has kidney failure, already on dialysis three times a week, but the results were not bad at all. I told him to continue his dialysis and return for a comprehensive analysis in three months.

As Fred got up to leave, he threw me a bombshell question. “Doctor”, he began, “there is a question I had always wanted to ask you. Why didn’t you tell me I have less than 10% function left in my kidneys? That means that I lost over 90% of the functions of my kidneys. Why wasn’t I warned when my kidney function was 80%, 50%, or 30% before it fell below 10%?”

I stared at Fred in disbelief. Now it was my turn to explain. I told Fred that his question was so touching that I would remember it for a long time, right up to my death bed. I told Fred that I did warn him. More than 100 times. Fred had high blood pressure. And Diabetes mellitus. Those two conditions are kidney killers. Fred, against medical advice, refused to use medications. These conditions are silent killers. You don’t feel anything until it is too late. I told Fred to ask his wife Elizabeth when he got home and ask her whether I warned him about losing his kidneys or not.

Fred and Elizabeth are very special to me. When I arrived in the United States in 1993 and joined the Jamaica Hospital Medical Center in Queens County, NY as a Resident Doctor, Fred, and Elizabeth were two of the patients allocated to my care. I took care of them for three years. When I left the residency at Jamaica Hospital in 1996 and set up my own practice, they joined my practice. They and all their children have remained my patients since then. These people were very special to me. Their patronage when we had very few patients made a big difference to our bottom line. Fred has always been like a brother to me: ever jovial and cheerful. Carefree. Too carefree.

When Fred was diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, and Diabetes, and refused to take the prescribed medications, I was very concerned. Fred was very nonchalant. He drank quite a bit and I suspected also illicit drug use. When he refused to listen to me, and his Hemoglobin A1C was consistently above 10 and 11, I voiced my concern to Elizabeth that Fred may lose his kidneys if he did not use his medications. I told him to cut down on alcohol use. Instead of cutting down on booze, Fred opened a bar and started selling alcohol! He continued to drink heavily. Four years ago, Fred’s kidney function deteriorated very rapidly. Within one year, he needed kidney dialysis three times a week to keep him alive.

I turned to Fred and explained to him. When kidneys fail, they fail silently. Most of the time, it is difficult to know there is big trouble until your kidney function has dropped below 25%. I took out a piece of paper. I tore it in two equal parts. I told Fred to imagine that the paper is his kidneys. I threw away one half. I showed him the half paper. This kidney has 50% function. But the blood test will remain normal. Then I tore that paper in two again. Now 25% remains. You do not notice deterioration in your kidney function, measured as Blood Urea Nitrogen, and Creatinine levels in your blood, until your kidney function drops below 25%.

By coincidence, Elizabeth came into the office. She came on her own for a totally different purpose; to get a needed injection. She corroborated everything I told Fred. “The doctor warned you repeatedly that you might lose your kidneys”, Elizabeth testified truthfully, “and then you opened a bar”. Fred managed a smile. Alcohol and drug use seemed to have befuddled his memory. All those years when I was warning him, I knew that he was impaired because he was always so nonchalant, cocky and never took anything seriously. He would smile when I told him that his blood pressure and sugar were through the roof. I tried to enlist Elizabeth’s help. All to no avail.

“So the kidneys struggle on until they quit suddenly?” Fred asked finally. “Precisely,” I told Fred. “Sometimes people sleep, wake up, and suddenly see their face and everywhere swollen. The kidneys quit suddenly when they could no longer cope. Like putting a needle into an inflated balloon”.

Fred forced a smile, got up, and exited the office. Elizabeth remained behind to get her shot. “Let him go”, she said, as I looked at her inquiringly. “I knew that he was coming to see you, but we did not come together.” Poor Fred!

Nigerians want democracy and economic development, personal and human security, Somber Tuesday series by Mojúbàolú Olufúnké Okome

#SomberTuesday! There are still lawsuits over the management of the elections and the results. There is also clear evidence that INEC is not trusted to deliver free and fair elections. The electorate was promised that the use of technologies including the Bivalent Voter Accreditation System (BIVAS) and INEC Result Viewing Portal (IRev) would prevent electoral fraud but they did no such thing.

Electoral violence, voter suppression, voter intimidation, and allegations of electoral manipulation as well as fraud further erode the freedom and fairness of Nigerian elections. The Minister for Information was also reported to have claimed that election results were not uploaded on IReVs due to fears of cyberattacks. This contradicts INEC’s previous explanations that attributed the failure to technical glitches. Who should the public believe?

The currency scarcity did not eliminate vote buying, and the cashless economy remains fraught with transfer problems. How much longer will the Naira scarcity last? Economic development remains elusive.

Many youths are frustrated and angry about our political, economic, and social shortcomings. Nigeria has an oligarchic gerontocracy in a poor country with the youths as majority of its population. Under such conditions, the prospects for genuine democracy are murky at best. Insecurity continues. Weak political institutions, inadequate infrastructure, high unemployment, and

underemployment, lack of decent jobs for the majority of Nigerians, and inadequate social safety nets all continue to be significant challenges.

Nigerians want democracy and economic development, personal and human security, and a country that works for all. #EndSARS youth protesters participated robustly in the elections. However, their call for good governance, an end to police brutality, extortion, impunity, economic inequality, marginalization and targeting of youths and other minorities, and political violence remain unfulfilled. Two years on, Nigeria should remember that violent attacks on peacefully demonstrating youths at #LekkiTollGate & other locations are unacceptable in a democratic country. We must collectively work at achieving our collective objectives of both democracy and development.

#NigerianWomenArise #EndPoliceBrutalityinNigeriaNOW #EndSars #EndSWAT #EndImpunity.

I reiterate the importance of Howard Zinn’s statement as relevant to building a democratic political system in Nigeria: “Civil disobedience, that’s not our problem. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while, the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.”

I also repeat: Let the kleptocrats give back our stolen wealth so that we can fix our infrastructure, schools, hospitals, and also offer worthwhile social protection to our people. Let the masses enjoy the full benefits of citizenship in Nigeria. Let the leaders and political class repent and build peace with justice.

This is no time for politics as usual. The people elected should be those trusted to bring justice, equity and human security to the entire country, not expedient, unethical, and egocentric individuals determined to dominate for self aggrandizement or sectional gain. We don’t need oligarchs’ continued domination. We also need a government that puts the interests of majority of citizens first.

Prof. Mojúbàolú Olufúnké Okome is a professor of political science at Brooklyn College in New York.

Bringing digital skills to rural women and girls will ensure economic stability – Chimdy Onyedim-Etuwewe

By Lillian Okenwa

An Abuja lawyer, Chimdindu Onyedim-Etuwewe has charged Government and gender-responsive organizations “to invest substantially in bringing digital skills to rural women and girls, to help empower business and to ensure economic stability over time.

AttorneyOnyedim-Etuwewe in her paper — Harnessing Technology as a Way of Boosting Women’s Business and Closing the Gender Gap — delivered at a virtual session of the Abuja Chamber of Commerce and Industry held in commemoration of the 2023 International Women’s Day advised that as bridging the gender gap is being canvassed, it is important to drive and highlight policies that are important to women in businesses.

Chimdy Onyedim-Etuwewe

“Policies like access to data, access to funding, access to information, and digital literacy,” she said.

While pointing out that “most women are by virtue of their gender and cultural expectations disadvantaged in the business space,” Onyedim-Etuwewe, a gender advocate and Head, Legal, and Compliance, at GAMCL noted that “technology is a gateway to new public spaces, markets, and information with major potential for boosting women’s economic activity and participation.”

She further disclosed that “mobile banking, smartphones, and gender-sensitive investment strategies are expanding women’s financial inclusion, spurring entrepreneurship, and strengthening women’s autonomy and decision-making in the home and in their communities.”

However, she expressed concern that “despite the rapid growth of the country’s tech sector, only very few women have the opportunity to participate as men largely dominate the ecosystem.

“If we continue this trajectory, it will be difficult to make significant progress in Nigeria towards Sustainable Development Goal 5 which aims to achieve gender equality for all by 2030, and we will ultimately lose out on the advantages of having a more inclusive tech ecosystem.”

Again, Mrs. Onyedim-Etuwewe, a member of the International Federation of Women Lawyers, FIDA Nigeria, Abuja branch, observed that: “Around the globe, many small businesses are owned by women entrepreneurs who balance business and family responsibilities. Smart technology, including phones and tablets, has made it easier to strike that balance and keep businesses growing.

“Mobile devices have brought the world of the Internet closer to homemakers, while the e-commerce boom has ensured that home-based entrepreneurs have access to virtual platforms to meet customers/clients.

“As a result, it has become easier for women to juggle between domestic responsibilities and pursue their profession, skills, talents, and hobbies to create value out of them..

“According to the World Bank, mobile payments have had a particular and positive impact for women entrepreneurs as they can benefit from digital payments. Social norms and family responsibilities, for example, often prevent women from traveling to distant suppliers or bank branches.

“Digital payments give women better access to the marketplace, reducing the need to travel far to deposit money, thereby lowering these barriers to mobility.

“Similarly, social norms can limit a female entrepreneur’s control over her earnings. But electronic payments ensure a woman’s money is private and secure, making it less likely that family members or others will demand a portion of the cash without her consent. 

As we celebrate this International Women’s Day, we are inspired by the stories of women business owners. Whether they’re using the Internet to develop the skills to launch a company or powering an entire business with smartphones and mobile payments, women are changing their lives and the global economy with the businesses they run.

“Technology is providing a whole layer of support to enable growth. We must continue to advocate for women’s access to technology as a tool to bridge the gender gap.”

For non-performing wives only

By Funke Egbemode

All the members of the household were gathered in the living room. Some were sitting. Some stood. But everybody was talking at the same time. Ruckus. Confusion. Tension. Hauwa, Alhaji’s second wife stood beside her packed, neatly arranged luggage. She was determined to go, yes. She was determined to leave that compound and Alhaji’s home that day. The other two wives, Bimbola and Khadijat looked like they were going to explode with joy at Hauwa’s decision. They struggled to rein in their excitement.


‘Finally, we will have our husband back.’ Khadija whispered to Bimbo, the youngest wife.
‘Yes o, let her just go. I don’t understand all this drama.’
‘If a woman is tired of her marriage, she has a right to go back to her father’s house, or wherever she came from.’ Bimbo’s murmur was too loud and Alhaji pounced.
‘Keep quiet there! You are all my wives and you all have equal rights.’ Alhaji roared.
‘Well, maigida, Hauwa wants to leave, let her go now. I don’t even know why you are angry with me.’ Bimbo retorted, moving a few steps away from Alhaji. The man looked livid enough to throw a punch.

‘Alhaji, you cannot hold her here against her will. I’m sure there is a law somewhere that says you can’t do that.” Khadija threw in another annoying line. It successfully riled up Alhaji.
‘Madam Charge-and-bail lawyer, maybe you should call the police to arrest me for trying to stop my own wife from leaving my own house. Or is this your house? Because you are attending an evening school, you think you can look me in the eye and lecture me?
Alhaja Agba, Alhaji’s mother and the family matriarch finally spoke up.
‘Kabir, I don’t understand why you won’t let this woman go. She said she wants to leave. Nobody has thrown her things out. She is the one who packed her bags and said she is leaving. Let her leave.’

‘Even you Mama? Neither Kabir nor Hauwa could believe their ears. The old woman never took sides, never openly.
The gateman had his ears close to the windows as he pretended to be cleaning them from outside. The house-help too was going in and out pretending to be busy. Everybody was interested in the Hauwa-must-go drama.
Why did Hauwa want to go? Why was nobody, except her husband, begging her to stay, not to leave her matrimonial home? Alhaja Agba was going to open the pot of yam on the fire to check every slice, as the Yorubas say.
‘Why won’t you let her go? Why exactly do you want to keep Hauwa here by force? You know as we all do that she is the most troublesome of your three wives.’
The housekeeper coughed and dashed into the kitchen.
‘She cannot cook. She is rude and treats everybody with disdain, like we are all beneath her.’
‘Oh oh, thank you Alhaja.’ Bimbo and Khadija chorused

The gateman tapped the window with his long broom as if he was trying to clear cobwebs.
‘Will you all shaaraap? Did I ask for your contribution?
So, Alhaja continued.
‘What exactly has Hauwa brought into this family? If she carries out her threat to leave today, what will this household miss, her cooking or her patience, her kindness or hospitality? She is yet to even have a child! I don’t know what you are begging her to stay for. She has not added any value. She fights with everybody, gateman or guest. She is just cantankerous, that one. Let her go if she wants to.’
Hauwa definitely was not anybody’s favourite person in that household but her husband would not let her go. Why? I do not know many men who will hold on tightly to a woman who is rude, can’t cook and does not have a child, especially if the woman is the one who decided to pack her bags. Most men would heave a sigh of relief and thank the Almighty for rescuing them so effortlessly and mercifully. So, what is the catch? What is Hauwa’s hold on Alhaji? What does Hauwa have that the other two wives lack?

Alhaji soon put everybody out of their misery, after chasing the domestic staff away, of course.
‘It is true Hauwa is rude and can’t cook to save her own life. She does not have a child yet and she is temperamental. She has many faults buuuutttt….’
Ah ah, what was the suspenseful pause for, everybody wondered.
‘What is the long ‘but’ for o, Alhaji?’ Bimbo sneered.
‘I knew it. She has given you love potion. She has given you fish with incision on it.’ Alhaja Agba’s voice was dripping concentrated hate.
‘Or maybe they took an oath that we do not k now about. Khadija quipped.

‘No, she has something all of you don’t have. She is a better wife than both of you log of woods in my bed. You Khadija, do you ask yourself why I do not sleep in your room? Why did I marry a second and third wife? You, Bimbo, do you not just lie there like I’m forcing you? Which one of you know the difference between nightwear and lingerie? Do you know anything about bedroom scents or how to be your husband’s private masseuse? It is only Hauwa that makes me feel like a man. She is the only one who satisfies me in bed. That is why I will not let her go. I do not want to start looking for another wife or chasing small small girls all over town. Hauwa is ten times more a woman than the two of you.’
By the time Alhaji was done, everybody was scrambling to pick their jaws on the floor. They had never heard Alhaji speak like that. He is a scholar and leader in the Muslim community. He is a marriage counsellor. A preacher who delivers pungent unforgettable lectures at Islamic events. Who knew he was also a tiger who wanted a tigress in his bed? His wives did not know whether to laugh or cry.

Does this little drama in Alhaji Kabir’s living room leave you with many questions running around your brain, like it did mine the day I heard it? Who is a total woman? Does being a kind, respectful submissive woman enough for your man? Is the woman who can cook up a storm in the blink of an eye the complete woman or the one who bore her man four healthy sons? Perhaps it is the woman who supports her husband financially and covers his shame that is the complete woman? Are there even complete women or is the concept of a total woman just an illusion?
Until I heard the Hauwa story, I didn’t know, those in polygamous homes also have to compete in the sex department. What did I know? I thought once the cat was let out of the bag, you do not have to worry any further. I thought once a woman formally loses her exclusive right to her man’s jewels, she no longer has to struggle for ‘best performer’ award.

Imagine how Hauwa’s tricks and treats between the sheets earned her a lifetime achievement award. Sex, for some men, is like that famous Yoruba mixture, Aporo epa Ijebu’, the one concoction that cures all ailments. Every woman knows that if a man is not getting adequate service, he gets all cranky, snapping, and angry at everything and everybody. Men can beg for service, blackmail for service or even beat you into servicing them. If you do not come through after a short or long wait, they simply go on an expedition, like the natural fishermen and gifted hunters that they are. Must we then wait to be summoned to a family meeting like Alhaji Kabir’s living room drama of disgrace for non-performing wives?

My sisters, give your man the full option. Wear waist beads. Have them in different sets of colours. Spend some money on lingerie in his favourite colours. Enough of the comfy cotton floor length brown night wears. Invest in a couple of bottles of bedtime perfumes, soft, sexy fragrance. I’ll share more detailed tips in another piece but for now, you girls need to wake up and return from the ‘missionary’ journey. Stop with the one-course meal every time. It is boring. Show him the stars. Let him pant. Let him sweat. The fact that you have been married 15 years does not make him less desirable to the women outside. And there is a hungry army of them out there. If your man ‘mistakenly’ falls into the bosom of a woman who had been fishing without catching anything for years, and she takes him on a tour of places your felt were sacred, he just might decide to stay back and set up a shrine for himself. Keep him in your shrine. Let him do as he pleases in your sanctuary. He’s the only one recognized by heaven to conduct three services in your sacred place. He can stay as long as he likes on your praying mat. He is the licensed owner of your holy core.

Funke Egbemode can be reached on [email protected]

Association of Lawyers with Disabilities in Nigeria elects new officers, Ikem Uchegbulam is National President

Ikem U. Uchegbulam, Esq. has emerged as President of the Association of Lawyers with Disabilities in Nigeria (ALDIN).

At the conclusion of a General Assembly held 1st April 2023 with the sole purpose of conducting the election of  a new executive committee and the ratification of a new Management Board of the Association, nine officers came on board.

A statement signed by Justice Christopher, Director of Media and Publicity disclosed that the Barr. Theophilus Odaudu led Electoral Committee which presided over the process of the election after weeks of preparations and processes leading up to the election, conducted the business of the day in a free and fair manner to the admiration of all.

The newly elected Management Board of ALDIN are:

1.      President – Ikem U. Uchegbulam.

2.      Vice President – Salamatu Abdullahi.

3.      General Secretary – Lukeman Abolarinwa Salami

4.      Assistant General Secretary – Blessing Chinonso Ujunwa.

5.      Director of Legal Services – Rex Erameh Es.

6.      Treasurer – Sani Moyi.

7.      Financial Secretary – Violet Alli.

8.      Director of Media and Publicity – Justice Christopher.

9.      Director of Research and Documentation – Yusuf Iyodo.

In his inaugural speech, the new President, Ikem Uchegbulam, thanked all members of ALDIN, particularly the out gone EXCO led by Daniel Onwe and the members of the Electoral Committee for their various contributions to ALDIN.

Uchegbulam promised that the new EXCO will work hard to ensure that ALDIN is a force to be reckoned with.

He also called for support from all members.

Here are photos of the newly elected officers.

Ikem U.Uchegbulam Esq. National President
Lukeman Abolarinwa Salami, General Secretary
Justice Christopher, Director of Media and publicity,  ALDIN National
Yusuf Iyodo (Director of Research & Documentation)
Salamatu Abdullahi
Vice President
ALDIN National
Rex Erameh. Director, Legal Services
Blessing C. Ujunwa. Assistant general secretary
Alli, Violet Tamuno-Opubo Esq, Financial Secretary, ALDIN National
Sani Moyi, Treasurer, ALDIN National

Payment of 2023 Bar Practice Fee: NBA Leadership waited too long to provide an alternative

  • Call on the validity period to be extended by at least two weeks

 By Nkereuwem Udofia Akpan

Speaking from my personal experience, for about three weeks, I was struggling to make payment on the NBA Bar practice fee platform without success and had to visit the National Headquarters thrice.

The NBA leadership did not provide an alternative to ease the stress and frustration encountered by our colleagues all over the country, despite a deluge of protests on social media and elsewhere. Even on various WhatsApp Groups and other fora, there was an avalanche of complaints from our colleagues on the challenge faced.

On various platforms, I cried out and personally complained multiple times to my Branch Chairman and several others that there’s an urgent need to provide members with an alternative mode of payment

The daily frustration of having to squeeze through ubiquitous bottlenecks everywhere from petrol stations to banks and ATMs has left its toll on the mental health of the average man or woman on the street adding another bottleneck at the NBA portal was one heartache too many.

Now, on the very last day and with a few hours to go, we suddenly have an alternative platform to make payment. While this is a welcome development, it’s too little too late as there are thousands of lawyers already caught in the queue and there’s no way all can beat the 31st March deadline for purposes of making the NBA BPF payment ‘as and when due’.

Unfortunately, the IT Unit, the Financial Secretary, and other affected officers waited till this late to come up with the much-needed intervention despite the weeks and months of clamour.

It’s truly saddening that nothing drastic was done despite the uproar that was generated by that technical glitch on the BPF payment portal and which made it impossible for thousands of willing members to pay their Bar Practice Fee in a timely fashion. Drastic situations require drastic steps and the NBA dropped the ball.

This sudden wake-up call and directive that members can use a hurriedly assembled alternative portal is the same reactionary knee-jerk approach that’s been the bane of everything Nigerian and I personally disapprove of same.

As it stands thousands of our colleagues will be in default this year unless there is an extension of the validity period.

This was avoidable and truly unacceptable and must be corrected forthwith by the creation and maintenance of not one,  not two,  but several alternatives of payment which must be open for purposes of that annual ritual – making BPF payment in line with established norms and practices.

It is not in doubt that one can pay his or her BPF at any time within the practice year or even thereafter, but, the real gist is in paying same before the 31st of March in a given legal year.

I suggest that the closing date for payment of 2023 BPF ‘within time’ must be extended by at least two weeks to make up for the loss of time suffered by our colleagues due to no fault of theirs.

I call on the NBA President, Y C Makyau SAN,  to use his good offices and intervene by sending an official memo to the Chief Justice of Nigeria and the Body of Benchers requesting an extension of the validity period by at least 14 days for that purpose.

This is doable and it is the only way out of this unfortunate scenario.

Chief Nkereuwem Udofia Akpan

Lex Consulates & Attorneys

Maitama, Abuja FCT

[email protected]

[email protected]

On Twitter: @Chiefnkereuwem

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