By Lillian Okenwa
“The society not giving boys adequate care “, wrote Olufunke Oyinlola, founder of Boys Against Crime Campaign. May 16 every year is International Day of the Boy Child but many do not even know about it. Very few also realize the pressure, pain and hurts the boy child undergo day by day. After all He is A Man…
Although the observance for 2024 is themed, “Cool Boys: Teaching Boys How to Manage Anger and Aggression”, other voices contend that there should be much more for the boy child.
Olufunke Oyinlola revealed that, “In the course of my work, I’ve found that many boys are dropping out of school, many more are doing poorly academically, many others lack guidance and positive role models, and many are turning to crime and drugs. We’ve all been so immersed in closing the gender gap and creating better opportunities for the girl child that we’ve forgotten that boys are not pre-programmed from the womb to be perfect, but need to be properly taught, encouraged, positively mentored and made aware of the importance of their roles in society.
“Growing up and even now, I’ve had a lot of training on how I can be a great woman in society, how I can be a perfect wife and mother and how I can make my marriage successful. Most of the projects and conferences I’ve seen advertised are targeted at women and girls. And, while I’m really glad that women like me are doing great in our various fields, I find myself thinking, what about the boy child? What about men?
“What happens if a woman who is empowered enters society and encounters a man who is viewed as deficient? A deficient man is a man who is denied assistance due to the prevailing belief that he is “the advantaged one” and who has little or no opportunity to acquire the necessary skills to become the kind of man that society wants. Some men fear showing weakness and being judged as a weakling for not being able to handle fundamental duties. What unfolds when an empowered woman decides to get married and start a family? Will she meet a man who shares her ambition and success? We don’t seem to have realised yet that a neglected boy will probably grow up to become a broken man, and you can’t expect a man like that to contribute positively to society….”
Halima Layeni, Founder & Executive Director, Life After Abuse Foundation explored another angle.
“It is important to draw attention to a pressing issue that warrants immediate action: sexual abuse against boys. Global statistics reveals that approximately 1 in 6 boys worldwide experience some form of sexual abuse before adulthood. Regrettably, these figures likely underestimate the true scope of the problem due to stigma, shame, and societal disbelief.
One of the most troubling aspects of this crisis is the neglect of sexual abuse against boys. Survivors frequently face scepticism and blame, with their experiences dismissed due to harmful misconceptions. The horrifying reality is that some believe if a boy experiences an erection during abuse, or actively participated in the act, somehow implies consent or enjoyment, perpetuating a culture of silence and shame, leaving survivors feeling isolated and invalidated.
It is important to emphasize that abuse perpetrated against boys below the age of consent constitutes rape, regardless of whether they actively participated in the act. The age of consent varies globally but typically ranges from 16 to 18 years old. Any sexual activity with a child below the age of consent is a violation of their rights and is a criminal offence.
The long-term effect of sexual abuse on boys are profound, extending beyond immediate trauma. Male survivors often suffer psychological and emotional challenges, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. The impact of abuse can persist into adulthood, impacting self-esteem, ability to trust others, and overall well-being…
“[A]chieving gender equality in access to support services for male survivors of sexual abuse is a fundamental human right. As we commemorate the International Day of the Boy Child, let us reaffirm our commitment to ensuring that all individuals, regardless of gender, receive the support and assistance they need to heal and thrive.”
Below are two inspiring videos on the imperative to support the male child.
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