By Lillian Okenwa
For a lot of couples, a new relationship usually comes with a high sex drive and you cannot get enough of each other. But as people get older particularly on the part of women, the sexual drive begins to wane.
Social psychologist, Roy Baumeister said it’s expected that a man’s sexual drive is higher than a female’s. Through a study observing sexual habits between males and females, Baumeister insists that men are more sexual than women. “The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently. As men and women age, each fantasise less, but men still fantasise about twice as often,” he says, adding, “Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it and after many years of it.”
And so it took the world by surprise when an 80-year-old Italian man allegedly killed his 61-year-old wife in a jealous rage when she refused to have sex with him – after he already gulped down a Viagra pill.
Vito Cangini told police he fatally stabbed his Ukrainian wife, Natalia Kyrychok, between Christmas Day and Sunday in the town of Fanano di Gradara, New York Post reported.
He said he took the erectile dysfunction drug when she promised to go to bed with him, but then she changed her mind. Kyrychok’s refusal led to a major fight during which Cangini accused her of being more interested in her boss and then allegedly stabbed her, according to the news outlet.
He was accused of leaving her bloodied body on the floor and then going to sleep. The following morning, he reportedly acted as if nothing had happened — ate breakfast and walked his dog twice. In the afternoon, he finally told a neighbour what he had done and asked the man to call the cops.
Vito Cangini told police he fatally stabbed his Ukrainian wife, Natalia Kyrychok, after she refused to have sex with him.
According to police, Vito Cangini admitted to a neighbor what he had done but the neighbour thought he was joking. The neighbour who didn’t want to be involved told Cangini to call the Police by himself, Newsflash reported.
The elderly man later told a woman who called for his wife about the crime and also asked her to make the call to authorities, but she too balked, possibly because she didn’t believe him.
Police say that Vito Cangini flew into a rage after taking Viagra and stabbed his wife several times. Cangini finally called the restaurant where his wife had worked as a chef for two years and told the owner, “I know there was something going on between you two.”
When told he’d never see Kyrychok again, the owner called the police, who found the woman’s body. She had been stabbed at least four times, including once to the heart. Police found the murder weapon at the scene and arrested her husband of 17 years.
Earlier in the year, the family of a woman, Ugieki Asemota, urged Nigeria’s Edo State Police Command to prosecute her husband, Emmanuel, for allegedly beating her to death for refusing him sexual intercourse. An argument was said to have ensued between the couple at their residence on Abaegbe Street in the Evbotubu area of Benin on Monday, June 28, 2021.
Ugieki reportedly entered her room and locked the door to avoid issues with her husband. However, Emmanuel, who persisted in entering the room with her, allegedly tried to break the door with an axe. While Ugieki attempted to escape through the window, her husband was said to have accosted and beaten her to a coma.
The state Police Public Relations Officer, Kontongs Bello, who confirmed the incident, said the suspect would be charged to court at the end of the investigation.
He said, “The couple were married in 2002 and had two boys together before she died. The woman denied him sex and he beat her to a coma. When we finish our preliminary investigation, we will charge him to court.”
In the movie Far From Heaven, four young housewives discuss their sex lives over lunchtime daiquiris. The boldest of the group coaxes the others to reveal how often their husbands want to make love.
“Mike insists on once a week,” one woman finally blurts out. “You get off easy!” the others laugh.
“Ron is more like two or three times a week!” another woman sighs.
“A girlfriend of mine,” confides the ringleader. “Her husband — ” She dissolves into tipsy giggles. “Every night of the week, and three times on the weekend! Can you imagine?”
The movie is set in the ’50s. Today, it is a fact that many modern couples see their sex life crowded out by the relentless demands of children, work pressures, not enough time alone — and simply not enough time. Allowing your physical relationship to fall to the bottom of a frantic “to-do list,” experts say, can lead to dissatisfaction, loneliness, separation, and even divorce.
Most certainly, spouses withholding sex from one another could be an insidious problem, particularly if sex is used as a weapon to punish one another. It’s particularly toxic if an unresolved grievance from the past is offered up as the reason for the withholding of sex. Once one partner ends up sleeping on the couch instead of the marital bed, the end is probably near. Another insidious problem is using sex as a “treat” to reward the partner for good behavior — a training method that is better suited for household pets!
But before the bitterness gets to the point of killing a partner, why not excuse yourselves from the relationship? What does killing a partner who denied you sex resolve?
