By Hon Omega, Kpakpando Anam
Ogbuefi Okaa lost his wife of 34 years and was forced to re-marry. He chose a 21 years old Agbomma who was very beautiful and possessed all that could make other men risk being caught sharing her with the husband at any cost.
Ogbuefi Okaa noticed that he alone couldn’t satisfy Agbomma the very first day he tasted what he paid for.
The young girl kept asking for more as if Ogbuefi Okaa was being powered by a 200amp inverter battery. He could only do what a 63 years (Nkiliko Age Grade) old man could do and put back his sword, which has turned into a sagged rope, inside his sheath.
As the smart man that he was, Ogbuefi Okaa quickly harvested four children from Agbomma in quick succession leaving no long gaps in between pregnancies. He reasoned that he needed to be fast before other men sowed wild oats or illegitimate children in his family.
As months rolled into years, Ogbuefi Okaa had noticed that Agbomma, his wife no longer complained about his low penile performance or his reduced ability to push or thrust harder.
Agbomma formed indifference after each lacklustre performance by her husband, whose mind or intention to satisfy his wife was not in doubt but the ability to stand erect, fill the hole and create a feelable friction was not reliable.
Ogbuefi Okaa was so sure that a younger man was helping him tend his farm. His wife’s new feeling of contentment was ominous. He was however relieved as he was not being asked to climb the Ugwu NDI Uka
What a big load off him!
But who was this man that had been helping him without his permission?
Ogbuefi Okaa suspected his elder brother’s first son, Anekwe. He had noticed a resurgent closeness between his wife and Anekwe.
How could one ban one’s younger nephew from visiting his house even at old hours? Not Anekwe who has been very respectful and responsible.
It’s not done!
After all, isi mkpi ka dịkwa n’akpa mkpi meaning “that the wife didn’t go too far”.
With his increasing age and decreasing ability to satisfy Agbomma in bed, Ogbuefi Okaa advised himself and came out with a heart-preserving elixir.
Ogbuefi Okaa wouldn’t bother to probe who is helping keep his wife happy. Of what purpose would such enquiry or confirmation serve?
It was better left in the realm of suspension.
He would not use his eyes to see iniquity.
Everything, for him, was not sex.
As a matter of policy, Ogbuefi Okaa would make a loud noise produced by clearing one’s throat upon approaching his compound. It was so characteristic and unmistakably his.
He didn’t stop at that.
Ogbuefi Okaa would also jam so hard the entrance gate (Uvo) of his compound. This, he believed was enough alarm for his wife and any of her male guests to adjust their positions before he entered his house.
And Ogbuefi Okaa lived longer than 94 years before he joined his ancestors.
The secret of long life.
I remain Hon Omega Kpakpando Anam. Don’t kill yourself for nothing. Worry less and live longer.
