By Lillian Okenwa
A December 31, 2021 opinion published by Nigerian Tribune raised a greatly overlooked point. “So much has been written and said about violence against the female gender and most especially, the girl child. We have heard of how the girl child is abused sexually, physically, and emotionally. We have heard of how brothers, uncles, and even fathers sexually abuse their sisters, nieces, daughters, and sisters…
“While problems faced by the girl child have been brought to the front burner, those of the male child have been overlooked and unrecognized…
“While the uncared boys are turning into street urchins, kidnappers, robbers, and fraudsters in the south, the northern part of the country is breeding almajiris, bandits, and terrorists. When we look at society today, the majority of those who commit suicide are mainly male. Among drug addicts, miscreants, robbers, kidnappers, terrorists, and fraudsters, the male child takes the lead. The question now is why is it that little or no attention is paid to issues that pertain to the male child. Are we saying that the lives of these young men do not matter or that society can do without them?”
Hanatu Enwemadu, Lawyer, certified child therapist, and family well-being advocate in an interview counselled that in order to strengthen society, families, leadership, and institutions “we need to pay more attention to the way the boy child is raised.”
Enwemadu, the executive director/founder of “A Mother’s Love Initiative (AMLi’s), a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) that advocates balancing and equal training of the girl and boy child observed that: “From education to protection, the girl-child is seen as a vulnerable member of society, issues about them are often at the forefront of advocacy and this has exposed an imbalance in the way child issues are treated based on gender. A vulnerable girl-child is likely to get a quicker response compared to a boy-child.
“The implication of this is that the boy-child is neglected, and societies would be flooded with boys who become irresponsible or susceptible to crimes. My NGO is an intervention platform that provides a positive, permanent shift in the quality of life of the boy-child. For the legal practitioner, the male child is not getting adequate attention in society.
“There is a need to balance and ensure wholesome parenting in the raising of the boy. A sound boy child is pivotal to strengthening society, families, leadership, and our institutions…Parents need to domesticate the boy-child to become a responsible father in the future, this would curb the moral decadence in the society.
“The Nigerian society focused more on the girl-child, thereby neglecting the boy-child, this attitude contributes largely to the increase in social vices in the country. As a society, we need to train both genders equally to change the narrative as no gender is better than the other. The boy-child should not be neglected, I am seeking more attention and mentorship for the boy-child. I encourage parents to please create time for their children…
“We should let the boy-child do chores, he shouldn’t be left to play all the time, while the girls are involved with the chores, they should be included though I am not against them playing. But they should be allowed to grow up thinking about the house chores, cooking, washing clothes, dishes, let them learn how to manage the home.”
It is noteworthy that data from the United States found that after one year of workshops on redefining masculinity and male strength, boys and young men were significantly more likely to intervene in situations when a girl was being touched inappropriately by male peers, intervene when a peer was being harassed or threatened with physical violence, and to disagree with statements supporting pro-harassment beliefs.
It was also observed that boys with positive male role models are more likely to question gender inequities and harmful stereotypes, and less likely to take part in risky sexual behaviours.
Also, research shows that men who are positively engaged in the lives of their children or stepchildren are less likely to be depressed, commit suicide, or be violent. However, in machismo conceptions of masculinity, spending time in the home with family and children is often considered feminine.
