Do you know that long before the loud advocacy for same-sex marriage, woman-to-woman marriages have been happening in West Africa, including Nigeria?
In the streets of Lagos, the royal courts of Benin, and the quiet villages of Ghana’s Upper East Region, marriage has long been a pillar of social life in West Africa.
But beyond the widely recognized man-woman unions, there is an unpopular yet deeply rooted tradition, woman-to-woman marriage.
Once a powerful tool for lineage preservation and female agency, this practice is now fading away. The question is – why?
Tradition shaped by power and purpose
Woman-to-woman marriage, though often misunderstood today, was never about romantic relationships or sexual preference. It was a practical and socially respected institution found in more than 40 ethnic groups across West Africa.
Among the Igbo in Nigeria, the Frafra in Ghana, and the Dahomeans of Benin, a woman could take on the role of a husband paying bride price, marrying another woman, and legally becoming the head of a household.
These unions weren’t symbolic. They had real legal, economic, and social consequences. The female husband assumed responsibility for the wife and any children she bore, typically fathered by a male relative or a chosen genitor.
The children belonged to the female husband’s lineage, ensuring continuity of the family name and inheritance line, especially in the absence of male heirs.
Why did it matter?
In traditional societies, land, property, and leadership often passed through male lines. But in the absence of sons or male relatives, woman-to-woman marriage provided a solution. It allowed women, especially those who were wealthy or influential, to maintain control over family property and legacy.
This structure also granted women a unique kind of autonomy. Female husbands could manage property, settle disputes, represent families in community matters, and hold leadership roles.
In a deeply patriarchal society, this was a powerful way for women to gain influence and agency while still operating within accepted cultural frameworks.
Stories from the ground
In Okrika, a town in Nigeria’s Rivers State, elders still speak of how a woman with no brothers or sons could marry wives to bring male children into the family.
In Mbaise, Chief Nkemjirika Njoku recalls how daughters, after losing a father without sons, could marry a woman to raise children in his name, preserving his lineage.
Ghana’s Frafra communities had similar arrangements
A wealthy woman might marry wives to bear children for her husband or manage labor and household duties. In each case, the purpose was clear: protect family ties, maintain lineage, and empower women to fulfill roles society typically reserved for men.
The colonial backlash
So what happened to this rich tradition? The answer lies partly in colonial history. European colonizers, guided by Victorian-era ideals, viewed gender roles and marriage through rigid moral lenses.
When British colonial administrators and Christian missionaries encountered woman-to-woman unions, they misunderstood and condemned them, wrongly equating them with homosexuality.
This moral judgment led to the criminalization of same-sex relationships, including woman-to-woman marriages in places like colonial Ghana as early as 1882. Over time, these external pressures stigmatized the practice, forcing it into the shadows.
Even as the tradition adapted sometimes being rebranded as business partnerships or household arrangements it gradually lost its formal recognition and widespread acceptance.
How it is misunderstood in the modern era
Today, the few remaining traces of woman-to-woman marriage are largely misunderstood or ignored. Some critics argue the practice reinforced patriarchal norms by requiring women to adopt “male” roles to gain power.
Others mistakenly view it as a form of same-sex romantic union, overlooking its true cultural and functional context.
Religious shifts have played a role, too. The rise of Christianity and Islam across West Africa brought new value systems that further stigmatized such unions.
Meanwhile, modern legal systems rarely recognize them, which means children born in these arrangements may be excluded from inheritance or legal protections.
Is it really disappearing?
Yes and no. While formal recognition and cultural acceptance of woman-to-woman marriage have declined, the logic behind it still lingers. The need for lineage continuity, female leadership, and alternative kinship structures hasn’t gone away. In some communities, quiet forms of the tradition persist, even if they’re no longer publicly celebrated.
What has changed is how society views gender and family
Technological advances in reproduction, more inclusive legal systems, and shifting gender norms have provided new ways to achieve what woman-to-woman marriage once did. Still, the historical practice offers an important lens into the flexibility of African gender roles and the creative social structures that precolonial societies developed to solve real-world challenges.
More Than Marriage
At its heart, woman-to-woman marriage in West Africa wasn’t just about companionship. It was about survival, strategy, and power. It showed that gender roles in African societies were never as rigid as colonial narratives suggested. Women found ways to thrive, lead, and protect their families, even if it meant becoming a “husband.”
As the tradition fades, so does a powerful example of African ingenuity, one that reminds us of the many ways cultures adapt to meet the needs of their people.
The disappearance of woman-to-woman marriage is not just the loss of a marital custom. It’s the quiet fading of a system that once gave women power in places where few other doors were open.
