By Duchess Lizzy Awo Ejeh
Finally talking freely about my breast cancer journey…
My name is Duchess Lizzy, 26 years old, married, and Nigerian. I was born and raised in Zamfara State, Nigeria. I am currently a final-year student, studying Broadcast Journalism at NOUN. I studied Mass Communication and Business Administration respectively, at Federal Polytechnic Kaura Namoda, and Abdul Gusau State Polytechnic Talata Mafara, Zamfara State. I sing professionally and I am the CEO of Duchess Lizzy Salon and Spa
Living on the brink of life is an experience that can only be imagined. The last 12 months have brought me close to my end. It left me in bewilderment, as I daily struggled with my fears and thought. “You cannot fully understand cancer until it becomes your reality”. This explains the complexities in the processes leading up to the treatment and thereon. No amount of explaining can vividly describe the brokenness that comes with the diagnosis and the excruciating procedures that follow spontaneously. You would be lucky to have a supportive and understanding spouse and family, standing by you through the process. I was.
In 2022, my life changed forever. My Doctor at Asokoro Hospital told me upfront to choose between my life and my breast. I became livid and frustrated. I cried helplessly. I married only a few months ago and couldn’t face my husband with such a breaking news, I thought. I called him and couldn’t speak, he asked what was happening and I told him that the lump has been diagnosed to be cancer. He was broken but assured me he would stand with me throughout the process and nearly 12 months after, he has been my rock on this pathway. He kept his words, he lived with me in the hospitals and spent his life’s savings to get me on my feet again. It’s a journey, no one can prepare you for. It’s sad but painful reality for cancer patients.
Breast Cancer for an expectant mother is many things, but nothing funny. Many times, I cried in broken thoughts, I lived through depression, disbelief, and accusations. I was new on this path and had no experience but had to rely on stuff I read on the internet and the information from friends. In fact, everyone became an advisor. This made it so hard with choices. My husband and I heard stuff like, there are alternative cures for cancers, even though the claims have no empirical basis. Some friends were quick to judge and pass unpleasant comments about our choice of treatment. We became frustrated and perplexed, having difficulty deciding on certain medical procedures.
This is my reality, but God has a better plan for me. Cancer is here, it’s not gone yet, but I am not done fighting the monster. I thank God, I was a bit early at stage 2, though with invasive ductal carcinoma. I still thank God that I started the fight at 25 years, at fairly a good age to make a decision to fight and to win. Yes, this has impacted my every breath. Many times, I come under the effects of chemotherapy and other treatment procedures, and I become weak, dehydrated, disillusioned, and disorganized. I become helpless, especially because, I was healthy for most of my whole life, so I lived on big dreams about my future. Those dreams are now threatened.
From some lumps in my breast, which many told me were normal and could disappear on their own, I have had to begin a journey that is impactful all the way.
As I look back to the shocks that came on me after the biopsy, histology, and immunohistochemistry and the many months that have gone by, I am rejuvenated by my favorite scripture, Psalm 46:10, which states:“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the Earth”.
I got mocked and constantly received unpleasant comments. Some detractors were waiting for my end, but “God pass them”.
I will be ironical and insincere to downplay the dramatic changes that followed the sequence and series of treatments, CT Scans, Full blood count, Bone Scans, full body scan, and especially the chemotherapy. Chemotherapy changed me. It drained my blood, changed my figments, cleared my hair, and affected my posture, physic, taste, memory, and sexuality. Yes, I lost one breast to surgery, but he loves me still and has provided every time.
Surviving the 31st of December 2022 is such a huge miracle for me. I am grateful for life. I never knew I would be here, today considering the number of times my skin was pierced.
I am grateful to my family, my parents, my in-laws, and my friends who stood by me in these trying times of my life.
This man. My husband Amb. Michael Awo Ejeh my best friend, my HERO. He is truly a saint. Not only has he put up with me with my dramatic self but he’s carried me through the darkest, hardest, and most difficult times of our lives. He is thoughtful, loving, upbeat, compassionate, honest, hard-working, funny, God-fearing, and patient (SO patient). 💕
💜He covered me in love during my cancer diagnosis.
💙 During my miscarriage episode before my cancer diagnosis, he was so caring and loving.
💛He attended EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT he was allowed to go to.
💕 He celebrated every successful chemotherapy session and he takes me for outings, and walk therapy.
💙He has always been positive and also reassures me to see God beyond what am going through right now.
❤He fought alongside me every step of the way and continues to do so every single day.
🥰Even when I find it hard to pray sometimes he is always there to encourage me.
Caregivers are key reasons why cancer journeys are not psychologically difficult.
Thank you for reading me. Watch out for the next episode
Happy New Year.
Project PINK BLUE
Breast cancer support group for patients and their loved ones.
