A PANDEMIC OF IDIOCY: Folly, mediocrity, idiocy and acute lack of commonsense has defined this epoch from 2015 to date.
And shorn of the crippling equivocation which has been the signpost of these times, I put it all down to the status of Nigeria’s current NUMBER ONE: PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI.
He, or to be charitable, his leadership seems to have spread a thick incubus over the landscape of our dear country Nigeria. Imagine for a moment, a large, dark blanket spread over a country… that seems to be the Nigerian imagery since 2015.
The wise among us have become somewhat stupid and the previously simple of mind have been force-fed with a repast of knavery …
Today, Nigeria seems to suffer a pandemic of idiocy!
Every action and inaction of government at all levels portrays a polity that has virtually gone off the hook. Consider the question of security (insecurity if you like): federal and state governments have continued to act as if Nigeria is the only country in the world where humans are naturally imbued with tendencies for vice. Perhaps all the criminals of the world have found home in Nigeria whereupon the problem has become utterly unmanageable!
But that would be a fallacy. Man is man everywhere, only the capacity to manage him makes the difference anywhere.
Nigerians have been buffeted with every known malaise in the last decade (but compounded in the last five years). The entire security cum military and paramilitary hierarchy in the land has been defied by a band of forest gangs for all of 10 years.
Buoyed by the successes in the northeast the marauders of the northwest have banded up and are intent of chasing away so-called elected governments.
In the southwest and southeast, youths of these areas are being radicalised by an obdurate federal government, unbeknownst to it. The FG seems to be walking joyously into the sophisticated antics of youths of the south.
KNEE-JERK RESPONSES TO FUNDAMENTAL ISSUES: Has anyone in government given a deep thought to this 10-year-old security miasma that has dogged us all? Heck no.
In the first place, Western countries and international conflict organisations were aghast at the situation here but somehow, they couldn’t understand the crisis. This is because the atmosphere is muddied by a peculiar Nigerian graft. How could ISIS or ISWAS be troubling Nigeria and the world see no cause for alarm? Why is terror uprising prevalent only in Nigeria out of all countries of the continent? We don’t hear anyone ask these kinds of questions.
Joint regional forces of adjoining countries were initially activated and deployed but it soon fizzled out. Why? Nobody is asking.
Why has Boko Haram been decimated in Cameroon, Chad and Niger yet Nigeria with a better economy and a more sophisticated military remains a hotbed of BH? A poser for you.
Why is it that with all the military arsensl at our disposal, including air power, we cannot checkmate an uprising within our borders?
A scrappy civilian vigilante Joint Task Force (JTF) was cobbled up to no avail; more air power was procured and a rather obnoxious internal air bombardments are allegedly going on. Yet no respite and no critical questions raised.
Service chiefs upon service chiefs have fallen rather disgraceful at the feet of the waif, Shekau; yet the war rages on… only in Nigeria.
Hundreds of military generals are promoted every season (I would be ashamed to be labelled a general in Nigeria today), yet a band of sahel rats continue to worst them.
Nobody seems to be thinking and asking the right questions.
AND NOW THE FOLLY OF AMOTEKUN AND EBUBEAGU: Of course, terror dressed in different uniforms threatens to consume the entire country and our leaders are completely at their wits end.
Southwest leaders after huffing and puffing for months, managed to raise a useless contraption called Amotekun. Since it fully took off over a quarter ago, incidents of crimes and vices seems to have doubled in the zone; with citizens becoming refugees in Yorubaland.
While we may give the Yoruba political leaders thumbs up for being able to think through and deliver a security scheme no matter how flawed, their Igbo counterparts have been completely stumped in the face of all sorts of marauding danger.
But a few days ago, governors in Igboland announced the founding of a zonal security outfit to he known as EBUBEAGU: the fearsome awe of the lion! What a laugh!
Three elements are common to this fuddy-duddy they call security outfits:
One, between Amotekun and Ebubeagu, both Yoruba and Igbo are confused whether they refer to the lion, tiger or leopard as the symbol of the two outfits.
While the originators may have the the image of the lion in their minds, it turned out that what the lion (king of the jungle) means in English is a bit confusing from what it means in Yoruba and Igbo.
For weeks, my Yoruba kins grew much grey hair over this little matter and eventually settled for the leopard, the poor cousin of the feline family when compared to the lion and tiger.
My Igbo people are still pounding their cranium against a hard surface to determine between agu and odum, which one is actually the lion and the tiger.
It is this childish superficiality that has underlined what’s supposed to be a crucial matter of state.
Two: these security outfits: Amotekun and Ebubeagu are not allowed to bear arms by the federal government so what we have are mere DRESSED UP MANNEQUINS, not really better than the boys brigade.
Three: these two babies have been conceived by the governors while ‘standing up’ therefore they have birthed imbecilic creatures.
The governors have only succeeded in wasting our time while our security woes continue to escalate. And while they are about their folly, our people, especially the youths have found heroes and indeed saviours in Sunday Igboho and Nnamdi Kanu.
While our governors doodle, Igboho and Kanu have managed to raise a ‘force’ that has repelled Buhari’s naive 21st century Fulani resorgimento. But while majority of Yoruba and Igbo are joyous, the Igboho and Kanu phenomenon is simply an attempt to counter Buhari’s failed leadership with acute illegality. The result, eventually, would be mutually assured death: MAD!
HOW TO SAVE THE DAY: One: southern leaders need to stand up as one and call Buhari to order over the incipient Fulani hegemony he has overtly encouraged and tolerated,
Two: southern leaders ought to have challenged Buhari in court over his discarding of restructure, especially as it concerns State police. It’s not too late to commence the process NOW,
Three, and most crucial, there’s a need to convoke conferences on the state of Nigeria’s economy and another on the root causes of insecurity in the land.
Finally, Buhari certainly needs help. His mediocre and nepotistic appointments need to be disbanded immediately so that Nigerians who are capable and fit-for-purpose would onboard.
